Voices

I knew it was coming. It was just a matter of time. Every body has some scary story to tell about their experiences with a client. I was among the few who didnt have any. One of them had a client get angry and physically assault the client. Another one had their clients husband come and threaten them. Yet another therapist had a client pull a gun and hold them for almost an hour, before he made his escape and later got arrested. Ok, i admit my experience was nowhere close, but not bad for a start i would say. For the past few weeks i have been seeing a client with schizo affective disorder. Ill just refer to her as "client". For the past few years she has been hearing voices speak to her. These voices cuss her and conspire about her. During the earlier sessions i have asked her to listen to those voices and tell me what they are saying. It has always been something about her, like "sacrifice her" or even "she is giving away our secrets" and so on. During the last session i decided to take it a step further. Maybe i should not have. The first half of the session was self care and further discussions about the voices. Then.....

Therapist: So when was the last time you heard those voices?
Client: This morning. Wait. I can hear them now(listens for a while)
Therapist: Well, what are they telling you?
Client: They are saying that i should get a good lawyer.
Therapist: Hhhmm. I see. Its scary isnt it?
Client: Ohhh (makes a sad face and puts her head down)
Therapist: Do you think they will have something to say about me?
Clients: (listens) They tell me that you have no clue what you are doing.
Therapist: (No response.Loss for words)

I should have stopped, but i didnt. I put my hands into my file and close the file over my hand in a way that she cant see. Im holding out three fingers.

Therapist: Can you ask your voices how many fingers i am holding?
Client: (listens carefully) They are saying three.
Therapist: (gulps)
Client: Am i right?
Therapist: Does it matter? Ok how many am i holding now? (Im holding two)
Client: (listens carefully)Two.
Therapist: (silence)
Client: Was that right?
Therapist: (silence/smiles)
Client: (Confused look)
Therapist: (gathers courage) Ok, our time is up for today and ill see you next week.