The Ordeal of Commuting

For the last two weeks, I did something that I had never ever done before. I commuted to work. Yes, you heard me right. For those of you who were not aware, I have a job where I work from home. My room is my office. No commuting in the terrible traffic. No dealing with the unfriendly weather and no long distance to cover. Yes, call it a blessing or whatever, but I have a job that offers some privileges that almost all my friends would kill for.

Initially when I was informed that I needed to be working from a client company for two weeks, I welcomed it as a change in environment. I was looking forward to it. Day 1 was kind of fine. I knew what to expect. What I didn't realize was that during peak hours, it takes an hour to cover 10km. Well, how was I to know? I never step out during peak times. The process of getting back home in the evenings seemed like forever. I still shouldn't be complaining because I was back home by 7.

By the time I was into my 3rd day, I had had enough. I couldn't handle the commute any longer. I began to wonder how some of my friends travel long distance for work. I wondered why on earth they do it? Yes, compared to most of them, my commute seemed like a short distance and yet, here I was complaining of the distance and traffic. By the time I finished my first week, I had developed a new found respect for all those who commute to work, especially the ones who drive themselves. Hats off to you all.

So, finally I managed to finish 2 terrible weeks. Now I am back in the comfort of my home and my old routine which I missed so much. No more sweating and no more honking to deal with. Life is good, and I sure as hell feel blessed. Lucky me.

A Tale of Many Guests

We have always had a lot of guest at home, growing up. Every week there was someone or the other. It was either an official visit or sometimes a family visit. Since dad was with the church and we lived in a parsonage, official guests of the church usually stayed with us, from other priests to even bishops. On days when they were not around, we had some family visiting. Having grown up in this kind of environment, it's no surprise that even today, I love having guests over.

Being young, there was always some excitement about guests coming over. That would mean special food; something out of the ordinary. Being young, the guest would always bring something for this young boy. So after the excitement of seeing the visitor, my excitement would shift towards their baggage. From a piece of candy to a small toy, anything would do. I would eye their pockets and even scan their baggage without their knowledge for anything that might be meant for me. Rarely was I disappointed. Some uncles would hand me Rs 10 or 20 and if they came from abroad it as usually Rs 100. When the guest was official, I obviously had no interest for them, but only for what they might have for me. On the other hand, if the guest was an uncle or a few cousins, then it was all about them.

Apart from the guests, we have always had people over. Living in a campus, ours was something like an open house. The only time the doors were closed was when we were going to bed. It was always open and people would always walk in and out. We were the fortunate family to own a TV. Really; no one else had one initially. So for the weekly Sunday movies on TV we had a full house of kids and a few adults. If there was a cricket match, we had kids sneak away from the hostel to come and watch. "The World This Week" was another program when we had our house full.

Plus points aside, there are downsides to it as well. There are times when you just don't want anyone at home. You just wish it was just your own family and no one else. But we cant chase anyone away, can we? Sometimes the much loved guest might dig into my favorite piece of chicken that I usually have. Sometimes that guest might take the bed and I have had to hit the floor. Sometimes the guests have been in total control of the TV, that on more than one occasion, I have gone to the terrace and ripped of the wire from the antenna, hoping to interrupt their TV watching. Just my rotten luck, the Doordarshan TV tower was right next to our house and I learnt that the TV didn't really need an antenna for crystal clear pictures.

Many years have passed and I still love having people over. We visit a lot too. My wife too loves having people over and so between her friends/family and my friends/family, we have someone at home almost every week or at the most every other week. It's great and no complaints. It's great to stare at a different face once in a while, have a different kind of conversation and it's always nice to share your environment and make someone feel welcomed. When guests leave, I would want them to leave with the feeling that they would want to come back, and I really hope they do.

Conflicts. How To Make The Best Use Of It.

We all fight or have conflicts. As long as two living being exist in the same environment, conflict will co-exist. In one of my previous posts I had mentioned that, from a very psychological and theoretical angle, "conflict is growth trying to happen". I agree. Through the fights and arguments, there is so much you learn about the other person and provided you are open minded, you even develop some level of tolerance. So, through conflicts you grow and you grow, but all said and done, every now and then you wish you would grow a little less.

Especially with couples, a lot of people get very stressed at the slightest conflict. If there is a fight, the individuals spend sleepless nights until it is resolved. I used to believe in this but not anymore and a lot of people still vouch for the fact that no conflict should be left unresolved by the time the sun goes down. It might work for some, but for me, NO. I have let a few sunsets go by before anything has been resolved. A few days of no communication is a good break indeed, but then again, that's my perspective and what works for me.

With marriage, my lifestyle has changed to a great degree. Expected of course. Going to bed around 3am or 4am does not seem practical now, so 12am it is, maximum. So this is where conflict comes in and gives me a chance to revisit my glory days. During a conflict, I treat myself by staying up as late as I want to, and watch anything I want to on TV, without a fight for the remote. I get to watch all IPL matches without interruption. During the world cup, as fate would have it, we fought exactly on the days when India was playing. I took it as a blessing and watched all of India's games. Contrary to popular belief, I sleep best when we fight.

In all fairness, let me clarify that I do not go looking for conflicts nor do I instigate it for my benefit. Sometimes it just happens and it is beyond your control. So when it finally does happen, quit whining about it and think of it as a holiday, a time to break all the rules. A few pretty sunsets later, you are all ready to make up, and you're off again, on your beautiful journey together.

Happy fighting...!!

If Rockstars Ruled The World

I remember reading something similar long ago in an issue of Readers Digest so I figured I would come up with my own version. We all go on about how politicians mess up everything everywhere. We also know how music makes this world a much better place to live. So, what if these musicians ruled the world, or lets say they ruled our country? So for the sake of this post, let's look at our very own Indian cabinet and fill them up with Rock bands.

Prime Minister - Presidents of the USA

Minister of Finance - Dire Straits

Minister of Defence - Guns N' Roses

Minister of Food Processing - Meat Loaf

Minister of Home Affairs - Police

Minister of Railways - Train

Minister of External Affairs - Foreigner

Minister of Rural Development - Village People

Minister of Power - AC/DC

Minister of Health - Poison/Anthrax

Minister of Civil Aviation - Jefferson Airplane

Minister of Coal - Coal Chamber

Minister of Road Transport - Journey

Minister of Animal Welfare - Pantera and Def Leppard

So yeah, the world is a better place now, so ROCK ON..!!

How We Feed This Monster Called Corruption

So here is yet another movement that is gaining steam; Anna Hazare's fast unto death. Great bold initiative I must admit. Every once in a while, there are these few great ones that show up, hoping to make a difference. Hazare has indeed done great deeds and might do a few more, but the focus here is on corruption. How much will his hunger strike achieve and what impact will it have in future? First off, corruption in rampant. In fact, we as a nation created this monster called corruption and knowingly or unknowingly, we are all a part of this body of corruption. I hope the Jan Lokpal Bill gets passed. It has not been cleared for a good 42 years, but better late than never. If it does get passed, that might go a long way in dealing with corrupt politicians and those holding any office. But does it eliminate corruption completely? I guess not. We always blame our politicians for being corrupt, but that is only because we have allowed them to be. We always speak about how corrupt a traffic cop or a government employee can be, but they are because we have not held back from slipping a Rs 100 note into their palms so that we can get away with something. Our palms are as greasy as theirs. We feed this monster called corruption and we suddenly we want to kill it. Suddenly everyone on Facebook has been clicking the "like" button to any comment in support of Hazare. Everyone is joining a Facebook page in support of Hazare. Everyone seems to be busy clicking "attending" to the numerous support events that have come up. These very same people will bribe a cop, bribe an official, buy pirated movies, download illegally, buy stuff from the black market and so on. So much for clicking the "like" button. No doubts, I am one of those downloaders and bribe a cop person and hence I find it pretty hypocritical to click "like" or "attending". We need to be the change we want to see, and sadly that we never can be. Hazare will fast and the bill might be passed and eventually he might end his fast. We cannot expect corruption to end the minute he ends his fast. That wont happen. Chances are that with the IPL starting, Hazare might be forgotten in a few days by us. To begin with, getting the Lokpal bill passed would be the best start. From then on, it is in our hands. Let us stop blaming the politicians, like they are the only ones corrupt. Maybe a look into the mirror might do us good.

The Cup That Counts

So here it is finally. We won. Unbelievable scenes all around the country and even two days after the win, it is yet to sink in for many. I was 4 years old when we won the cup in 1983. That was when black and white TV was up to date and only the privileged few had a TV set. I have absolutely no memory of anyone mentioning anything or celebrating that victory in 1983. Now 28 years later, I have memories that are going to last me a lifetime. India deserved to win.

Dhoni has been dashing as a captain and an even greater risk taker with his decision making. In the end it paid off. He has easily displaced Ganguly as the most successful captain. Under him we won the T20 world cup, became the no: 1 test nation and even ripped apart Australia in Australia, and now the world cup itself. The media has even referred to him as the man with the Midas touch, keeping in mind that he made CSK the winners in IPL last season and even went one better on the world stage by winning the Champions league. It does not get better for him.

Having said that, we were not without our share of hiccups, blunders and luck. During the early stage of the tournament, our bowlers struggled to bowl out even the weaker teams. We did not win by a huge margin. Even the game against England where we scored huge, we should have won. During the middle stages, our lower middle order and tail collapsed faster than a deck of cards. Dhoni was criticized for his team selection when he omitted Ashwin. I still believe Ashwin would have been a better bet than Chawla or even Nehra, but in the end, we still made it through, so the brickbats might be spared this time. We are an unforgiving nation, aren't we? The lowest point for me was of course the performance of Sreesanth. Zero contribution.

Another high point for me was Sachin. That guy deserves a post all to himself, but that's later. What a journey it has been for him and yes, I totally agree when most of the players said that the cup was won FOR Sachin. After all he has done, he deserves it. The icing on the cake would have been his 100th century, had he reached there.

So where do we go from here? They say that once you reach the top, the only way forward is DOWN. True, maybe, but we can prolong our stay at the top for a while. We can keep the momentum going. With this win, we probably have enough confidence to keep ourselves going and play like champions. Hopefully this Indian dominance will last for a few years, maybe even beyond the next world cup.

On a lighter note, got this joke in my inbox this morning. "Two Sri Lankans were seen sipping tea out of a saucer. When asked why, one of them said that the Indians took the cup"

The Gospel of Mac: Chapter 2

Behold, I say unto you, all of mankind,
Thou searches for me at the altar,
Where frankincense and incense burns.
Where heads are bowed and palms joined,
knees on the floor and hearts raised.
Forgetting what lies beyond the walls,
Where I really do prevail.
Create a frenzy and scream my name,
"Shout to the Lord", you think you are closer.
Let your child come unto me,
But you, behold yourself, unfit for glory.
It matters not to me where you go next,
But where you are now, in this life.
Shine the light and be the light,
Lend a helping hand.
Share the love, to all alike,
How different they may be from you.
Cause no hurt by words, it matters what you say,
If you think you are already safe; sad, but you have failed.
Follow these, my humble words and look not above,
For heaven lays here, right where you created yours.
Thus spoke the Gospel of Mac.

Friends For All Seasons

I have had quite a few friends ask me why, in all these years of blogging, I have never written anything about any friend in particular. Yes, more than two individuals have asked me this. Then at one point, I did consider writing a post, dedicated to a few friends. I think it was on a friendship day two or three years ago. I started writing, but soon stopped. Not because I couldn't find anything to write, but because of fear that I may leave someone out.

I have always taken pride in regard to the friends I have. I do believe that I have the greatest bunch of friends. There are some I see often during the week. There are some I meet without fail at weekends and have a blast. There are some I wish I could see more often but don't, and then there are some I meet once or twice a year when we end up in the same city. With so many friends, my days are full. I enjoy every minute I spend with each of them. There is so much I have learnt from some of them, and I am certain that there is so much I have taught some of them.

I have always believed that it is necessary to have more than one set of friends. No matter how close you are, seeing the same face again and again is going to get to you one day. I also believe that different set of friends can also meet different needs in you. For me, there is one set with whom I do the most crazy things while acting like fools. This I can never do with anyone other group. There is another set of friends with whom I can open up and share my inner thought and be a little emotional, which I can never do with the others. With another group I can just sit and chat for hours about anything and never ever feel bored. There are few with whom I can sit quietly and have a few drinks and just feel good. I can go on, but just wanted to show how each set of friends meet a different need in me.

Few days ago, I was thinking a lot about all these friends. I felt so grateful for them, while I tried to recollect all the good times we have had. Yes, we have had fun, fun and more fun and have stuck by each other all this while. This also got me thinking about the fact that there has never been a crisis situation with any of these friends, where the fun has to be put aside, and a different role has to be taken. Of course we have all had our share of ups and downs and have been supportive to each other, but I mean something on a greater scale. Some life changing experience that someone goes through. In such a case, I was wondering what role each of these set of friends would take up.

Anyway, for those of you who had asked me why I don't mention any friends in particular, that's because there are too many of you, and each of you mean a lot to me, in so many different ways. It cannot be summarised in a blog, and its best left at that. But, I love you all.

The Never Ending Spam Mails and Forwards

Now haven't we all received spam? Well, most of us still do. There are these crazy fwds that we sometimes don't bother to open. As annoying as they may be, some of them are really amusing. Amusing as long as you don't fall for it. Unfortunately some of us do fall for the pranks. Tough wood, I have been safe from spammers until now and hope to remain so. Meanwhile, I thought I would run through my top 5 (ridiculous) forwards.

1. Movie portraying Jesus and his Disciples as gay.This has got to be the oldest one. I remember receiving this even way back in 1998, saying that a movie is going to be released, showing Jesus and his 12 as gay. Well, 13 years on and I'm still waiting for the movie, but I still receive the fwd every now and then. A lot of people signed the petition and forwarded it further, mostly out of ignorance, and hence sharing a lot more email id's with awaiting spammers. If I receive this one more time, I just might make that movie myself, just so this would end.

2. You have been chosen to receive a million dollars..!!
When you see $$$ on your subject line, you are tempted to open it. Well, who doesn't need money. Then you read that some old rich lady living alone in a London mansion just croaked her last, and that her bank has randomly chosen YOU to receive all her fortune. Wow..!! Now, really? Some of us actually believe that? Don't be stupid. It does not happen in real life. I had blogged before about one such conversation I had. Check it out here.

3. Fwd to 20 people or you will die.
Ok, its amazing how some think that the "send" button on your screen has the power to kill you, if not clicked. Hey, I'm still alive, in spite of not sending anything. Sometimes it says you will have 20 years of bad luck if you don't fwd this, or you will lose your job or whatever. OK, I choose 20 years of bad luck over annoying 20 people I know. So far my luck has been great and I am doing just fine.

4. Save a little girls life.
Then we have a fwd that does not ask for your money or address or anything else. All it says is that there is a little girl dying of cancer and that her folks cant afford the money to cure her. Apparently microsoft has stepped in to help, saying that they will pay 20 cents for each person who forwards the mail. Ok, apparently that girl is still not dead, and that mail still comes every now and then. Use your brains. Microsoft has enough money to pay for her treatment if they wanted to, plus there are thousands of people dying from cancer, so you spamming your friends will NOT save this little girl.

5. Apple is giving away free iPads.
Yea, right. That's how they made their money; by giving free ipads. This apparently is the latest spam, mostly on facebook. You click a link that says "click here and receive your free ipad" and that message is immediately posted to all your friends profile. And did you get the iPad? Hell no. You only made me think you are stupid.

Nothing comes free in life. Whether iPad or money or whatever, no one will ever give it away for free. That's just not how it works. Sometimes we act stupid and try our luck. "Oh its from microsoft so much be genuine" is what we think. "Jesus wont forgive me if I don't act christian and do my bit to stand up for my lord" is what some of us think when we receive the fwd about the Jesus movie. We wouldn't risk denying our God, so we fwd it anyway. Just in case. Then some of us fwd crap out of pure desperation. Our life must be in the pits and it couldn't go further down, so if forwarding an email is going to work, then no harm trying. If forwarding an email is going to give someone that hope, then hey, why not; isn't it?

So yea, that's it. Now within the next one minute, type out a comment about this post. Otherwise your computer screen will burst into a million pieces and about a half a million of those tiny sharp shreds will pierce your eyes.

Facebook Killed the Blogging Star

Anyone remember this song from the 70's, a popular one called "Video Killed the Radio Star"? This was also the very first music video to be played when MTV was launched. How apt or how ironic, considering how important music videos would become towards the success of a song. Surely the radio star did not die, just that it took a back seat, but it is still very much alive.

I remember the enthusiasm with which I started blogging. I had so much to say and so much to express. There were a lot of stories from my past which were wort sharing. Some were worth laughing about and some were worth pondering over. I have now reached a point where I feel I have said it all, or maybe I cant think of anything more to blog about. NO, this is NOT a goodbye post and my blog is not shutting down, but I cant help but hold myself responsible for allowing it to take the backseat.

Enter Facebook, and there is no denying that it has changed the way people communicate. My stories are now on Facebook and not on the blog. My feelings, moods and emotions are also on Facebook. My photos, trip reports are there for all to see on Facebook. Lets face it, when I want to show off something or get a response, I would rather do it on a forum that has 400+ members as opposed to 40. Well, do I even have 10 people who visit this page?

It's a phase. It was blogger yesterday and today it's Facebook. Who knows what it will be tomorrow. No I am not going to abandon the blog. It has indeed taken a backseat, but it is still special in so many ways. So it shall remain. Happy Blogging.

Very Very Annoying

If we look around, there are numerous things that happen that can annoy us. Some of us are able to turn a blind eye and let things pass. Some of us are blind and don't see it. Anyway, I have realized that there are certain things that wont change. We got to deal with it. So here are my top five things that really annoy me no end.

Honking:
I rarely honk. That is because I have come to realize that there is no point. Traffic is only going to get worse and roads are going to be more clogged. Now how hard is it to understand that? How difficult is to to look in front and see a red light and see vehicles piled up, and realize that no one can move until the light turns green? Then why honk? I guess I became intolerant to honking after my stint in USA, where there is NO honking. When the light is red and if someone behind me honks, I make it a point not to move an inch, no matter how loud the honking. Horns should be banned. Really!!

Slow and Steady:
This slow and steady ain't going to win any races. How often have you waited at a counter and the person who is supposed to attend to you is paying zero attention to you, and is instead busy on his cell phone. Or sometimes he just roams around doing nothing, or moving at his own slow pace, as if there is no one to attend to. Makes you feel invisible and it is indeed frustrating that your presence is not even acknowledged. When I am at a counter, I expect to be attended to.

Autos:
Of course, show me one person who has only good things to say about autos. No surprise but auto drivers are among the most hated creatures, but unfortunately for a lot of individuals, they are dependent on them. In my opinion, the autos in Chennai are the worst, hands down. No meters, no fixed fares, no regard to passengers, absolutely nothing. In Chennai they will come anywhere you call them, but you pay what they ask for. This is daylight robbery or extortion at its best. A pity that this is an issue that can never be resolved. I do my best to avoid autos and in the last few months, I have not hired one. Believe it or not, but in Chennai a taxi can be a cheaper option.

Timing:
It is only in the last few years that I developed the importance of being on time. I find it really disrespectful if someone does not keep their time with you. If someone wants to meet me at 7, I am always there by 6:45 latest. I hate it when I have to wait until 8 or beyond before the person shows up. I would not mind if the person told me that he/she was running late and can make it only by 8. But it is annoying when they keep saying, "I am on my way" or "I am almost there" and still show up after an hour. It is not like I had something important to achieve in that one our, but keeping your time is a way of respecting someone. It does not hurt to be a few minutes early and wait. It wont kill you.

Cellphones vs Movies:
This has got to be my numero uno. Yes, I am most annoyed when people use their cell phones at movies. Some talk real loud, as if no one else is there. Then there are some who have horrible ring tones and when it rings they take it and stare at the screen, at the name of the person calling, wondering if they should answer it or not, while the annoying tone screams out aloud. Would it really hurt to switch it off for a few hours or even put in on silent? Even if you are sending a text message, the light from the screen annoys me. So if you are expecting an important call or if there is something you cannot avoid, please stay at home, and spare the movie goers.

So there, if any of you have any of these above said habits (I know some of you do), make a change, and please make my life better. Ha..!!

Goodbye 2010 and Hello 2011

I think I have faithfully posted at the beginning of each year, so here I am again, bang on time. So, what an year this has been for me. To begin with, starting of 2010 by getting married, and then living the rest of it as a married man. A sharp contrast indeed from years 1979 to 2009. So was it better? Well, yeah. In many years, this last one year has been great. A good learning experience for me in a lot of ways. Learnt that women ain't that hard to deal with after all. A trick or two can keep them in the palm of your hands. Hey, it worked for me, so don't argue. Of course, they have their moments, that no trick can overcome, but those are just those few bumps or potholes on an otherwise smooth road. We also will celebrate our anniversary in another few days. So there you have it, in the last one year, married life/my life has been good.

On the work front, nothing has changed. I still am those few fortunate ones who love my job and those very very fortunate ones who enjoy the luxury of working from home plus a flexible schedule. I still have those great friends, some whom I meet often, some all too often and some hardly. Still, we are great friends, so that's good as well.

Come Jan 1st and I will also successfully complete one full year of being smoke free, barring the occasional one at a party once in a few months. A great achievement indeed. Yes, I used to crave occasionally, but these last few months have been crave free and now that I have completed one year, no doubts that I could go the rest of my life this way.

On the downside, my blogging has suffered. If you look back at the number of posts this last year, they have suffered in terms of quantity and quality. I honestly don't know why. Maybe I have finished saying everything I wanted to say. Maybe the lemon has been squeezed to its skin. Anyway, lets see how next year goes. Maybe I will have something interesting enough to blog about. Oh, I have been wanting to start gymming and maintain my health for the last two years or more. Now the apartment we stay in has its own health club, steam room etc, but guess what? I'm yet to set foot inside that Gym. So typical me.

So here's wishing you all a great new year and I hope the new year would be an awesome one for all of you, as it is for me. Peace.

My God Is An Awesome God

My God is not on a throne,
Looking down at the mortals below.
My God does not need to be worshiped,
No need to bow down low.
My God is for everyone,
Not only for the saved.
My God is everywhere,
Not only at the alter.
How much longer will you pretend like you know him?
How much longer will you search where he isn't?
How much longer will you judge the others?
What makes you think you're better?
He does not punish, neither does he bless,
Those are creations of your conditioned mind.
My God is in me, My God is me,
My God is an awesome God.

The Greatest Flop Show On Earth

So, the event of the decade is almost here. In just a few days, India will host the Commonwealth Games, amidst loads and loads of problems, both natural and man made. Even a few days before the big event, there are problems at almost every nook and corner. The venues are not ready and neither are the accommodations. Yesterday a pedestrian bridge collapsed and today a part of the false ceiling in one of the stadiums collapsed. So are we really ready? Are we going to go down as the laughing stock of the whole world?

Many have debated about how the games are a waste of money and how it should have been used for other purposes more important than sports. I disagree. Events such as these go a long way in promoting a country and it also does play a huge role in the overall development of sports in our country. I am all for hosting such grand events, but at this very point, we are just not ready. We do not have what it takes to impress the rest of the world. Like it or not, our standards are way below what the rest of the world expects. Our ideas and concepts about hygiene, cleanliness etc are at a much different level from the rest of the world. Unless we are ready to match all that, we cannot put on a world class show. Kalmadi keeps using the term "world class" and I wonder what he means by that. Maybe he has not seen what the rest of the world looks like.

Thanks to the news channels, we have seen how much money has already been swindled in the last few months. In the last few days, some of the top athletes have pulled out, and even a few countries have opted out. In the next few days leading to the event, we can expect a lot more pull outs. So what kind of show are we going to put on? Once the event is over, what happens to the infrastructure? Will it be utilized to help athletes and develop sports, or will it just rot and fade away? Reports indicate that the response from the public to the ticket sales and overall interest in the games has been lower than poor. Quite frankly, no one is interested.

In a country obsessed with cricket, we would do well organizing the world cup and IPL, so I guess we better stick to that and we really should not have bid for the games in the first place. There was a talk of India trying to bid for the future Olympics and I cross all my fingers and hope that it does not happen, at least in the next fifty years or so. Why? Because we are just not ready to take on something like that. The screw up from our end will cost the other capable developing nations from getting a chance to host the Commonwealth event in future. So, we have mucked it up not just for ourselves, but for a few others as well.

All negatives aside, for the sake of my dear country, to salvage the pride, I do hope we manage to put on a decent show at least. We hope the event passes off with minimum hiccups. We pray the weather holds and that the terror threats are contained. Cheers to those who managed to make a few quick bucks. Good luck to those participating and a huge thank you to those who did come and participate, in spite of everything going wrong. Now, over the next few days, enjoy the greatest flop show on earth.

Going home: The Afterlife

Just around the corner, is a place called home,
Eternal, forever, but that's how it seems.
We struggle in the race, to occupy our place,
It's exactly what I have seen, in my recurring dreams.

Childhood stories, about its glories I remember,
Not destined for all, but just a select few.
You better be good, you better say your prayers,
Eat the forbidden fruit, and forget your due.

Questioning the answers, is a less travelled road,
Afraid where it might lead, maybe to the depths of hell.
Fear, as they taught, is never the beginnings of wisdom,
A real wise man, is never a frog in the well.

Death becomes ours, there is always an end,
We head right home, to that beautiful shore.
The journey leads nowhere, we are back where we began,
Our home was where we lived all along, right from yore.

Goal Goal Goal

The FIFA world cup is here and at the moment that seems to be the sport of choice. I was never a football fan and cricket was always my game of choice. The Asia cup and India's tour of Zimbabwe seem to be overshadowed by football for now. Now as most of you know already, I have not played any active sports since my 10th grade. I have had my moments being a part of the school cricket and hockey team, but that was way back in the days when I was healthier and more fit. So in this world cup, we have had out first self goal by Denmark and this incident quickly made me remember a one off football match I played while in college. Now does anyone remember Andres Escobar from Columbia, who was shot dead after he scored an own goal due to which Columbia lost to USA 1-2 and also resulted in their elimination? Ouch. Well, I have not been shot yet.

In the college halls, the competition was always between the four blocks A, B, C and D. We had cricket, football, badminton and a host of other stuff. Now some of us seniors get to choose which block we want to reside in so it always ends up that a bunch of like minded people end up in the same block. A majority of those in A and B blocks consisted of Tamilians and a few other out station guys. C block had a majority of Tibetans and a lot of them from the North east. D block had a lot of Mallus who were mostly PG students, with sports being the last thing on their mind. Then came the time for the annual football tourney. The lots were drawn and for the elimination round A block was slated to play B and C block would play D. The winners of both games would face each other in the finals.

With the kind of team composition we had we surely never fancied having a chance. We however hoped to play either A or B block so that at least we would not be humiliated by C block who were the strongest with a good composition of Football loving guys from Tibet, Nagaland, Mizoram, Nepal etc. We accepted out fate and we decided to have a good time and we made a joke of how we were going to be slaughtered. The whole hall laughed even before the game started because it was a clear case of the strongest playing the weakest. Since we never had uniforms, we agreed that we would toss the coin and one team would play topless, so that we could differentiate each other. As luck would have it, my D block team had to play topless. That was mentally upsetting. Imagine a bunch of pot bellied hairy mallu men running around topless in a football field. Not a pleasant sight. Anyway, off goes our t-shirts, and the whistle blows and its game on.

Few brief minutes into the game we came to the agreement that we would not just fool around, but make a proper game out of it. We decided to not try and score any goals because that would be impossible, but instead we would all stay back and defend our goal with all we have. We wanted to make C block work hard for the numerous goals they were going to hit. So according to plan we stayed back and played very defensively. My position was defence anyway so I stayed in and around the goal post and occasionally wandered towards the half way line. Our strategy was paying off and by the time the half time whistle blew, the scores were still Nil. We couldn't believe that they had not scored anything. So we exchange sides and the second half gets under way. We decided to stick to the same strategy and just continue defending.

Unbelievably we were defending well. Though we never ventured out much into their half, we defended well using unconventional styles and tactics. Those watching the match were amazed that the scores were still nil. The frustration was beginning to show on the faces and in the game of the short tempered C block guys. With each passing minute they became more and more frustrated. We were counting down to the finishing whistle and though the scores were Nil, this would indeed be a huge victory for us. It did not really matter that we might get murdered during the penalty shoot out. With less then five minutes for the game to end, came my moment of glory.

What happened next happens all within a matter of five seconds. So try imagining this in slow motion. Someone from C block kicked the ball towards our goal, from quite far off, even though there was no one near our goal to receive the ball. The ball crossed almost everyone and it was headed towards me. Behind me was the goalkeeper and then the goal post. Since the ball was not directly aimed at me, I had to turn and run to catch the ball, which had now passed me and was heading towards the goal keeper, who would have safely caught the ball. However, I continued to run behind the ball, towards my own goal post. I was determined to gain control and kick it back or even kick it out, before the goal keeper had to catch it. What if he missed, was the thought on my mind. As it neared the post, I realized that it was too late to stop it and kick it back to their side, so I decided to kick it out, away from the goal post. I must have had bad aim, or I must have been wearing my left shoe on my right leg. The kick did not deflect the ball enough to take it away from the goal, but it did deflect the ball enough to move away from my own goal keeper and rest safely behind the nets. There was silence for a while.

After a brief few seconds, everyone realized what had happened. C block had a goal to their name, thanks to me. I sat down with my head bowed. Within a few minutes, the final whistle blew and the we had lost 0-1 to C block. They did not know if it was worth celebrating or not. They won, and yet not by their playing. If was a rare sight to see both teams walk out of the ground with their heads down, though one of the teams had won. About what my teammates had to say to me after the game; well, that's another story. For now, lets enjoy the FIFA world cup.

My Time Alone

There have been stages in my life when I used to be so contend if I was on my own. I could stay alone, cook and eat alone and do pretty much a lot of stuff on my own. I enjoyed it, though the craving for company existed every now and then. The phase of my life when I was unmarried gave me the freedom to be alone when ever I wanted to. Every once a week or so I had the need for company and would head out to a friends place for a day or two. This was one luxury I knew I was going to miss once I got married.

Having spent a lot of time alone, and now suddenly spending all your time with someone new takes some getting used to. I had the whole day and whole house to myself and now I have to share it with someone. Thankfully for me the transition happened smoothly. For most of the time I really did not mind the company and pretty soon I began to enjoy it and even sooner it became a part of my routine. However, every now and then I used to crave for those days when I was alone. When I could sit in front of the TV until it was almost daybreak and then finally crash on the couch. I used to miss waking up past noon, without much care and working on my own sweet schedule. I got a chance to relive those old glory lazy days when my wife had to go out of town for three weeks.

Apart from that fact that I missed her, I enjoyed the first few days of being alone. I enjoyed crashing on the couch with the TV on and waking up around noon. I enjoyed going out at nights and not even returning home the same night. Yes, it was the joys of bachelorhood all over again for a few days. Maybe four of five days into this, I began to get bored. The TV or the long sleeps did not satisfy me anymore and at times, even the company of friends did not satisfy me fully. Oh yes, I had to finally accept that I had kind of got accustomed to being with someone and sharing my life with someone that when she was gone, it kind of sucked. I still do the things I want to and go when and where I want to, but it's just not complete somehow. Funny how life can make you feel one particular way one day and few months later you feel the opposite.

And so I decided that there's going to be no more long trips away for my wife, unless absolutely needed. At least, I don't wish for it anymore. I really could do with being alone for a day or two, but at this point I don't think I need more than that. So here I am right now, counting the days for her to come back.

Holy Diver

Ronnie James Dio: July 10, 1942 - May 16, 2010

It is really a sad day for me. Most of my readers probably have no clue who this guy is, but he was one of my major influences when it comes to music. Ronnie James Dio passed away last night after a 6 month battle with stomach cancer. He was 67 years old, and a true rocker. He is most popularly known for being the singer for the band Elf, after which he sang for Rainbow. He replaced Ozzy in Black sabbath and in the recent past he was leading the band Heaven and Hell. Not to forget his highly successful solo career that spanned a few decades.

I first heard Dio by accident. When I was in the 7th grade, a friend of mine had given me an audio cassette which had a few assorted pop numbers. One unusual track on that album was "The Temple of the King" by Rainbow, with Dio on vocals. Not knowing who Dio was or what Rainbow was about, I heard that track a few times and was soon hooked on to it. It was only years later that I realized that it was Rainbow and Dio. Then there was no looking back. It was always hard to decide if he was better in his solo ventures, or if if was more powerful with Blackmore in Rainbow, or Tony Iommi in Sabbath.

He was one of the most powerful singers in heavy metal. Anyone who has heard him will agree. He has also been misunderstood many times, just like various other rockers, for being associated with the satanic side. Those who closely followed Dio will really know what he was about. All his songs were fantasy. He sang about dragons, mythological creatures, good vs evil and so on. All his solo albums had a mythical touch to it and it never failed to mesmerize the listener. Those of you who have been to a rock show, have you noticed everyone raising their hands with their index and pointing finger pointing? (see pic below) The "Horns" as it is known now was a trademark created by Dio himself and now ever single person who is into rock music flashes that sign.

Dio was instrumental in the Hear N' Aid project, which involved almost all the heavy metal musicians, and they released an album to raise funds for Africa. He also has a charity he runs called "Children of the Night" which benefits runaway children and the song "Throw away children" was recorded for that. One of his last efforts came last Christmas with Tony Iommi for a heavy metal Christmas album he produced, where he sang the track "God Rest Yea Merry Gentlemen" which my band had covered for a Christmas show.

Dio has passed on and this puts the end to a truly magical era. His influence on me and some of the other musicians are truly unmatched. He will indeed be remembered always, for years and years to come. His music lives on.

This Is It ?

In life, we don't really know what it takes to make us happy or content. Sometimes we wonder if we can ever be happy, or ever say that we have enough. The more we have, the more we want. It is human nature to want more and more and never be satisfied. I sometimes feel that this urge is what keeps us going. In our quest to grow and have more, we sometimes trample on the less fortunate. Some are just lucky and are born at a much different level. That's life. Sometimes few of us get so content in life that we miss out on a lot. We don't know what we are missing. Some of us think that owning a Ferrari is the greatest thing on earth. Some of us feel that there is nothing more we want in life than getting married and having a kid. Yes, everything we achieve and strive to achieve are important, but I hope and cross my fingers that I would never ever feel that "THIS IS IT", Because, that's when we stop growing and become stagnant.

I always took great pride in the friends I have had. In fact, that is something I am still proud of. I hope that I would never feel that I have achieved it all. Friends sometimes fail us. Friends are sometimes not there when you want them. No they don't share all your joys and sorrows and NO they are NOT your life. They are only a small part of your life.

Families are no different. Sometimes the most reliable blood happens to the be the first one to stab you in the back. No matter how much they love you, tomorrow they can hate you. Sometimes it makes you feel that your unreliable friends are way better. You may have the best parents in the world and best siblings or cousins, but they are NOT your life. They are only a small part of your life.

Some of us take great pride in the kind of job we have. It could be a job at the highest level with astronomical figures for salary. We often make the mistake of believing that our job is our life. It only ends up denying you your friends, family and every other small aspects of your life. One day when they feel like, it might just drop you from high above and you will land with a thud. You job is NOT your life. It is just a small part of your life.

Health is wealth, and that's what we have heard at least. We get so engrossed in dieting, exercising and doing everything healthy as possible, but one day we can get hit by a car and die. Yes, health is important, but in trying to be healthy, don't forget the small pleasures we miss out on. Strike a balance if we can. Imagine life without fried food. Your health is NOT your life. It is only a small part of your life.

When we are young, all that some of us want to do is to get married. We feel that is the ultimate we can achieve. Marriage does consume us in many ways than one. We forget the other small things like friends and few other pleasures in life. Our life does not need to change much after marriage. No matter how much you invest into a marriage, it can come crashing down for no fault of yours. Don't ever think that your marriage is indestructible like the Titanic, or that it is the most important thing in your life, because marriage is NOT your life. It is only a very small part of your life.

Children can bring about a huge change in ones lives. We feel powerful that we have created this new life and of course, the joy of holding ones own flesh and blood. We invest everything we have into the child. No matter what you do for them, one day they will leave. They can forget you and they can ignore you. So no matter how cute or sweet they are and no matter how much joy they give you, they are NOT your life. They are just a small part of your life.

So then, what is life? For me, adding up these small things and giving good importance to all small aspects, no matter how insignificant they may seem, constitutes life. I feel it would be mundane and boring to have my life centered around one area. Cheers to life.

Hot News, Breaking News and A Lot More

If any of you have turned on any news channel on TV in the last few weeks, or maybe even flipped through the newspaper, it might have just left you wondering what the heck is happening. No, there is no war, and this time it's no terrorist attack. It's something much bigger than any war or any political scandal. I guess it would go down to how an individual perceives it. Some might find it juicy, some would think it's annoying. For me, it was kind of annoying, but all the more amusing.

The biggest focus over the last few weeks was the Sania-Shoaib wedding. Frankly, who gives a damn? The media thought otherwise. As the vagabond mentioned somewhere on facebook, it was a wet dream for the media. Every single English news channel, went on and on about it. The same shots, the same clips, the same dialogue, for days. Someone please enlighten me on what the big deal was. Was it because they were celebrities? Was it because it was an India-Pakistan affair. I even read that the Pak media has termed this wedding as a huge victory for Pakistan, as they have "snatched" a valuable sportsperson from Indian soil. By all means, take her. Not to forget this over sized character called Ayesha, who added masala and got her few hours of fame. Who really cares if what she said was true or not.

Moving on to the IPL, let me admit that I love the game and I sincerely follow it. If I remember correctly, it was supposed to be a gentleman's game, wasn't it? Oh, look what they have done to it. There was a time when the beautiful game of cricket involved the players and only the players, and rightfully so. Look at it now. The players take a back foot, while politicians and Bollywood stars take center stage and hog the limelight. Suddenly in the game of cricket, SRK makes more news than Ganguly. CSK's much needed victory against KKR was overshadowed by Tharoor and Modi.

Now for more Bollywood drama, SRK, who was not quite visible this season, comes forward and says that he takes full responsibility for his teams pathetic performance, and even apologized to the fans for the teams poor show. Come on. Really? Did he really think cricket was anything like what he played in the movie chamatkar? What a fool. The KKR team would have played exactly the same, whether he was there or not. Frankly, apart from owning the team, he makes no bloody difference to how they play. Don't fool yourself SRK.

Still sticking to the IPL, the media is all ready to ejaculate over the Tharoor-Modi issue, which has been consistently going on for the last week or so. Meanwhile the media forgot to give enough space to the PM's important visit to the US and the happenings there, and they even didn't really care that our very own indigenous GSLV D3 with cryogenic engines, went up and came down almost immediately. Who cares. We surely care a lot more about Tharoor and his third new love Sunanda. Modi and his cocaine/kidnapping attempt days in the USA and his short term fling with a "friend"/model called Gabriella while in South Africa last season.

My point is, So what if Tharoor has a stake in the Kochi IPL team? So what if Modi has personal stakes in the Rajasthan Royals team? Let them milk it. Coming to think of it, for those who have followed IPL from the first season, have you ever wondered how Rajasthan got a team in the first edition? How many players from Rajasthan really represent the Indian team? Bihar I feel was more qualified. But lets not forget, Modi has a couple of relatives, who owns stakes in that team. So, thats forgiven.

No, I am not dying for real news. As I said, I find all this amusing. Where all this is going, we will come to know in the next few days when the IPL committee meet. Till then, the media is going to have a ball of a time in this orgy.

The Annoying Partner

Life after the knot has indeed been busy. A little bit of extra responsibilities thrown in and quite a lot of work related travel, and the lack of Internet at home made it all the more difficult for me to log in. Ok, so now am done with my travels for a while and we even have Internet at home. Never realized how much it meant to be connected.

So, married life goes on, without a hitch. I am enjoying it and so is she, I assume. Before I got married, one of my worst fear was that I would be married to someone who was nagging and annoying. These are among the few things I cannot tolerate for long. I would have nightmares of someone going "yap yap yap yap blah blah blah blah" or even "do this, do that, why you doing this, why you doing that, do it this way" and so on. Now seriously, how do you find out something like this before you are married? No way was i going to ask Rush if she is the nagging type. Well, if she was, as if she was going to say, "Yes dear, I am the nagging and annoying types". The only way would be to figure out during your courting days. So, all the time we spent before we were married, I saw absolutely no signs of nagging. How cool. But, don't we see the things we don't like to see, usually after marriage?

So now we are married, and trust me when I say it, our married life is full of nagging. But wait, it's not her who nags. Sigh. It's me. Yes, pathetic me is a big time nagger and I never realized it. Worst examples happen in the kitchen. I nag when she tries to cook. I have to tell her how it's done. Of course, I believe I am the expert right? If she puts in two spoons of sugar, I have to correct her by saying it is probably one and three quarters, just because I have to. Since she pointed it out, I have felt like this strict school teacher with a bamboo cane, who stands over a poor student working on his math problem, waiting to spot the first mistake so that he can strike hard on the knuckles. Yes, that is how I am, unfortunately and Rush, bears the worst of it. She does put up with it most times, but yes, I know that her patience has a limit too.

The irony of it all. My worst fear was having a partner who would be exactly like what I never knew I was. It really is true that we will really hate and despise something so much because we ourselves carry those very traits we hate so much. Most of the times we are unaware of it, but if we really explore, we will identify it. So anyways, that's the story of how I turned out to be the nagger in the marriage.

Life After The Knot

To carry on from the last post about the knot, what has that led me to? How has life after the knot been?Have I become that serious married man who suddenly stops having fun? Have I given up my past times and passions in the name of being more responsible and a dedicated family man? Would I not have time to blog anymore? To be honest, these were a few fears I had in me prior to marriage and these were few things I swore I would never become.

Certain aspects of my life has not changed one bit. I am still having fun and still following my passion. I still play with my band and we meet very often. In fact we had two shows in the last two days and it was awesome. Some were betting on the fact that I would be forced to give up on the band after marriage. I could never see why they felt the need for that. Maybe they never got a chance to follow their passion after they got married. In fact, Rush gets along perfectly fine with all my band mates and their respective wives, so that's awesome. So Rusty Moe continues to rock harder than before, post knot.

Like most of you know, I love cooking, and so I was never particular on having a wife who cooks. I enjoy it and and seriously like doing it myself. It does not bother me one bit that Rush does not like cooking, though it could be partly because she has never tried her hand at it. I however cannot begin my day without a cup of tea, and every single day since marriage, I have had my cup of tea when I have woken up. How blessed am I? The first time she made tea, Rush was quite excited that she sent an sms to almost everyone on her phone list saying that she made tea and more importantly that I loved it. Oh, those small things that makes one happy..!!! So, on the whole, she does most of the cleaning and I do most of the cooking. She never nags me about having to clean up. She just does it. I don't bug her about having to cook. I just do it. We have a deal here and it seems to be working out just fine for the both of us.

Setting up the house has been fun. Deciding what we need to get, budgeting it, paying and finally waiting for it to arrive has been exciting in its own cute little way. Our house is almost set now and it is finally looking like a home. We enjoy spending time at home. The lack of a TV means we talk much more and maybe catch an occasional movie on the laptop. Not for long though. I want to get a TV before IPL3 next month. One thing lacking is the internet. Since it is a new building, it is going to take a while to have our own connection. So that can be my excuse for not blogging often, if anyone cared.

So there you go. The story of my life post the knot. Pretty normal isn't it? Now with Rush being a part of my life, I guess I might have more things to blog about. Cheers..!!

ps: The secret to a happy marriage lies in using separate toilets.

Tying The Perfect Knot

So, I am married. Quite frankly, life has been good but I still feel like I am single. My world has not turned upside down and nothing has gone haywire. I am still enjoying every minute and I definitely view it as a good sign. Well, you could argue that it is probably a little too early to comment.

Anyway, the whole event and everything else associated with it went on just fine. To begin with, I think I used up my quota of anxiety and nervousness during the days leading to the wedding. On the day of the wedding, I woke up feeling completely at peace, and I did feel excited if at all there were any feelings. I walked around in my night clothes way past 10:00am, when most of the others were dressed. As always, I got dressed in a short time, and by 10:30am I was good to go. The prayer at home was small and consisted of only family, which was what I wanted. In a short while after that, we were off to the church.

The bride reached a few minutes after I did. We both tried to catch a glimpse of each other and my buddy paunch was thoughtful enough to go to her car, click her snap and show it to me. That helped. The highlight for me was the march into church. Any guesses which song I walked in to? I had my cousin play the keyboard and the song I walked in to was "November Rain" by Guns N Roses. Now how often does something like that happen in church? Believe it or not, I was very much relaxed through all this and I made it a point to smile at everyone and make eye contact on the way. In a few minutes, in walked the bride.

What happened during the service was a blur. Frankly I hardly paid any attention and Rush and I laughed, cracked jokes and giggled a lot through out the ceremony. Later on someone even asked me how I managed to remain so relaxed and cheerful throughout the ordeal. Personally, I had decided that I was going to be relaxed and always smile, no matter what, and that worked. The reception too went by real fast. We also managed to have a perpetual smile on our faces while photographs were clicked one after the other. Every now and then we kept reminding ourselves that we were actually married.

Overall it was a great day. I was so happy to see so many of my loved ones how up. Quite a few people I did not expect, did show up. A few I expected did not show up, but that's how it always is. We did feel a little tired, but there was more disbelief about the fact that we were really married. Rush's friends and family rigged our room with alarm clocks that was set to ring at one hour intervals, all through the night. We managed to search and deactivate a few, but one untraceable alarm did keep us awake through the night. I got my revenge the next night when I took those alarm clocks and rigged her family's room. What fun.

So how do I feel now? Still the same. We are in the process of setting up our own place, so a lot of moving and lifting and arranging going on, but it has been fun. In a few days, we should be fully set. Like I have always said, we never know how things are going to turn out and where we will be ten years down the line. I am still taking one step at a time like I always have. So cheers to life and here are a few snaps of the event.

2009: The Year That Was

Oh what a year this last one has been. So there goes 2009 and hello 2010. On many fronts, there is probably nothing that differentiates this year from the last. We still have our ups and downs. People are pretty much the same. A few good and bad ones here and there. Bombs go off here and there, and in Pakistan, it's now front page news when there is a day when a bomb does not go off. So looking ahead, how different will things be? Who knows.

At a very personal front, 2009 was, hhhmm, well, should I say great, or just good? Definitely not a bad year. I did pretty good at work and nothing to complain about. I also take pride in the fact that I am one of the very few people who can say that I love what I do. I still have the same great set of friends and every one of them have been awesome in their own ways. I met few new people, who have also been nice so far, and we get along great. With the band, again this was an awesome year. We finally recorded few of our tracks and released it online. The cherry on the cake was the Christmas single we released.

So, I had my career, friends, band and everything else set. the next logical step to take was probably marriage for me. Maybe not everyone will agree, but that's why I said "for me". So, I did get engaged in September, to this wonderful person called Rush, about whom I did make a brief mention in some previous post. In another few days, 7 to be exact, I will be married, and there will begin a new chapter. Being married does not guarantee you a good year. Maybe a year later, in 2011, I will update you on how one year of married life has been. So, we just rented out a new place, a cute one, and now lies the challenge of buying things and setting it up. Hope to have all that done before the end of January.

Exactly a year ago, I had written a post with a bunch of resolutions for the year 2009. There were four points I mentioned. The first one, well, I have controlled a bit. I used to be sucker for Pepsi. I still am, but from having one or two bottles a day, I have now gone down to maybe a bottle every week or so on average. I also did hit the gym as planned, which was my second point. I worked out for a few months and also lost a little bit of body fat. I did feel healthier and I can say it really helped me. Well, am I still doing it? No. I stopped when the subscription ran out and did not bother to renew. Hope to get back into the habit soon.

The third point is what I have suffered with the most. Until now I did not have a good excuse to quit. Well, my health is excuse enough, but I never saw it that way. Now that I am getting married and now that someone else has a right over my body, it's only fair that I take care of it. Even if I don't nurture it, I don't want to harm it in any way. This time, lets hope I remain a quitter.

My fourth point was something I did easily, surprisingly. It was a momentary decision and just like the flick of a switch, my attitude towards those people changed and now things are fine. In fact, things are awesome. I also realized, it just wasn't worth it disliking them. So yes, now I love everybody. Oh I do bitch about people and do this and that, but I can confidently say I carry absolutely no dislike. Cheers to that.

So, no new resolutions for this years. I don't think I need any. If at all any, my only resolution would be to make make all my implementations last long term, for my own good.

So here's wishing you an awesome New Year. Remember, this is the year of the Moes.

Rocking This Christmas

As a band we wanted to try something new and something fun, and something that probably no band in India has tried before. So we decided to record a song for Christmas. This is our version of a 1958 Johnny Marks classic, "Rockin Around The Christmas Tree". Thanks to Toby, who helped us with the recording and mixing. As always, we believe that music, which is one of the best things in life, should be easily accessible for all. So go ahead, you can download or even just listen to the track. Do pass it on and continue to support the band.

LISTEN HERE

United State of Mind - 4

The problem with looking up to someone is that you sometimes forget your ability to look back down at yourself.

Most Memorable Meals

Saw this post on Chandu's blog where someone tagged her to list out the top five memorable meals ever had. At the end of it there was an open tag, and of course, being about food, I had to take this tag up. So here are my most memorable meals ever had, in no particular order.

# I was introduced to momos only when I came to Madras. Prior to that I had no clue of Tibetan cuisine and I had not even tried dumplings before. I had my first taste of momos at one of our college fests, from a Tibetan stall. I was hooked and there was no going back. In my final year, the lead singer of my band was Tibetan and once he invited the whole band over to his place for lunch and the only thing on the menu were momos, on request. Out came this huge tub, like the one that carries fresh fish and ice in those fish markets. On opening the tub, I could swear I counted a million and one momos. We shamelessly dug in and went on and on. So, how much did I eat? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? Oh well, I remember counting till forty, then I just did not have the energy to count further.

# While growing up, when ever I visited my grandparent's place, I was always fascinated by the few farm animals they had. I took particular interest in the turkeys, mainly because of the way they looked and the sound the made. On one such trip, my grandmother announced that to welcome us home, she was going to cook up one of those lovely turkeys. I remember watching them the previous day and imagining what they would look like in my plate. The next day, I made sure I never missed any of the action. Right from the time the right turkey was chosen, slaughtered, skinned, cut, cooked and served. Somehow, that taste still lingers and it was the best turkey roast ever, along with the best gravy.

# Does food taste better when you are high? It probably does.How else can I explain that one night in USA where a friend and I developed this craving for something Chinese and something sweet. So we ring up this Chinese take away place and order pork friend rice, chicken noodles, pork roast and one box of sweet donut buns, which were soft, fluffy and sprinkled with powdered sugar. We cleaned it all up no sooner than it arrived. This was the best Chinese meal I had eaten in ages, from what would otherwise be just another take away restaurant. Oh, and did I mention that this carnal onslaught was just after we had finished dinner where we had downed a large Philly cheese steak, with hand cut fries and Pepsi, from Penn Station?

# Staying away from your country can make you crave a lot for the local food. While in USA, I really missed the regular Dosa, Vada and sambar types. Believe it or not, there was an Udupi right next to where I lived. There were other places too, but no matter how many times I went there, it never gave me the satisfaction I was looking for. On my first vacation trip to India, I had nothing but Saravana Bhavan on my mind. I reached late at night, and the very next day I headed out to Saravana Bhavan for breakfast with my close buddies, Paunch and Babu. Idly, vada, dosa, poori. I tried it all. I burped, and tried some more. Considering that I am not much of a VEG fan, I did eat a lot, and was more than satisfied. I could swear a tear rolled down my eye.

# I take great pride in the fact that I can cook. Now I am not the best by any standards, but with some level of arrogance I can confidently say that I can cook better than most people, both men and women. Keeping aside the daily common lunch/dinner, I take great care when I try something out of the way, like maybe a biryani, or pork ribs or a pizza and so on. With all the care that goes into making it and when the outcome is much better than what I expect, it gives me great pleasure. I think my all time favorite would be my biryani. For me, cooking is a personal experience and hence every meal I cook is a memorable one, so that surely finds a place in my top five.

END-GAGED

Well, I'm actually fumbling on how to start writing. This blog has been a witness to the last few years of my life and the changes my life has gone through. The ups and downs and the smooth sailings and everything else that has happened. Now when there is a new beginning, what better place to let it out than here.

Yes, I am officially engaged now, to a wonderful person, who will now on be referred here as "RUSH" for the obvious reason that some of you already know, and some will figure out eventually. So, Rush and I got engaged last weekend, in a very peaceful and serene ceremony with close family. The setting was in Kumarakom, Kerala, facing the backwaters, with an awesome view. I could not have asked for better. The whole ceremony was quite casual with some beautiful singing by Rush's family, and also from my darling cousins. Cool breeze, good food and a houseboat ride only made the already beautiful day better.

Enough said about the event. About Rush, well, it did not take us long to figure out that we wanted to do this journey together. It was NOT love at first sight for me. Somehow that does not make sense to me, as I view love as something that constantly grows, and sometimes disappears. We were introduced to each other by a common friend, who I am sure did not think that things would come to this. For the last few months, they have been trying to fix me up with someone and I always kept saying NO, to all the names that were brought up. Rush's was the last name that came up after months, and I randomly decided that I would try to get to know her. So then, we started talking and then meeting and then it took off. Some said it was quiet fast, and honestly, at one point I felt the same way too. I felt I was rushing into it, and that i should take some more time. Then one day I asked myself, "what exactly am I waiting for? I need time for what?" I really had no answer there, and so I decided I was going to take the plunge.

Rush is a great person and yes we do get along just fine. She isn't perfect and neither am I even close to being perfect, but I have always said that, "People are imperfect and it is their imperfectness that makes them perfect for each other." So this way, I feel we are perfect. We differ on a lot of things. Our faith and belief systems are poles apart. We disagree on the food we like and what's worse, we even do not like the same kind of music. All this do not matter. I have come to understand that a good relationship or a good marriage is NOT defined by how much we share in common or how alike two people we are, but by respecting a person for their own beliefs and learning to coexist. What was most important in me making this decision was the fact that she was able to accept me as I am, in spite of my lifestyle being quite contradictory to hers. That small gesture has indeed set the tone for the rest of our lives.

To be honest, I do not know where we will be few years from now. We can only assume what the future holds. Most of the time we get it wrong. I have always taken one day at a time, and this time too I take the same approach, only this time it's not alone.

My Next 30 Years

Crossing into 30 is one big milestone as far as I am considered. Feels like I am entering into the second half of my life. I stumbled upon this song that pretty much sums up all that I feel and want to say right now. Quite apt.

My Next 30 Years - Tim McGraw
I think I’ll take a moment, celebrate my age
The ending of an era and the turning of a page
Now it’s time to focus in on where I go from here
Lord have mercy on my next thirty years

Hey my next thirty years I’m gonna have some fun
Try to forget about all the crazy things I’ve done
Maybe now I’ve conquered all my adolescent fears
And I’ll do it better in my next thirty years

My next thirty years I’m gonna settle all the scores
Cry a little less, laugh a little more
Find a world of happiness without the hate and fear
Figure out just what I’m doing here
In my next thirty years

Oh my next thirty years, I’m gonna watch my weight
Eat a few more salads and not stay up so late
Drink a little lemonade and not so many beers
Maybe I’ll remember my next thirty years

My next thirty years will be the best years of my life
Raise a little family and hang out with my wife
Spend precious moments with the ones that I hold dear
Make up for lost time here ,In my next thirty years

In my next thirty years

In Light of the SRK Incident

Alrighty then, SRK was detained at the airport in the USA for a while. So what? Yes, that's exactly my question. So what? My apologies to any die hard SRK fans, but I never cared much for him anyway, but that's besides the point. Over the last few days, a lot has been said about this incident. I have heard reactions similar to mine, like "So what?" all the way to, "How dare they". Here's my few cents on this nonsense issue.

Whether this is a publicity stunt synchronised to perfect timing of his new release "My Name is Khan" or not, I don't know, don't care. What baffles me is how the heck do we expect an emigration officer to know who SRK is. I am pretty sure he wouldn't even be able to locate India on a map, leave alone know SRK. Well, assume that he did know him. What entitles SRK to escape any security check? Ok, so it could be his name KHAN. Again so what? The Americans have more than enough reason to be weary of Khan and Abdul and every other Mohammad. Call them paranoid or psychotic or whatever, but also remember that there has not been another attack from an outside source since 9/11. We on the other hand, keep getting pounded.

I have been detained at the airport in Indianapolis for close to two hours, for whatever reason. I was NOT offended and I let them do their job without complaining. So what makes SRK different from me? Well, yea, he is a celebrity and I am not (yet). Ok, so most people in India know him, but who the heck knows and cares, in the USA? Why should they? If a very random man lands in Mumbai and at the emigration counter says that he is a very famous Hollywood actor, would we just let him bypass the checks that the others are subject to? Oh well, coming to think of it, we just might. Our pot bellied, greedy officers might even drool after him for a photograph and an autograph. That's where we are different from them in the west. They have learnt from at least few of their mistakes. We have learnt nothing.

After 9/11, every single airport in the USA have adopted different security measures, which keeps on developing. These checks and methods are still in existence and like I said, there has not been another attack from outside. Touch wood. Here, first bombs rip through commuter trains, on the roads and everywhere else. The Taj and CST get attacked and yet, there are absolutely zero security measures in most of the railway stations I have visited. I frequent central station in Chennai. I have never been checked or frisked even once. There is one x-ray machine for the millions of people who travel, and it is not functional. Forget the station, even recently when I flew to Pune for some official work, I carried just a small carry on bag, that had a lighter, match box, razor, scissors and toothpaste. As far as I know, all these items are banned onboard a plane. So where is the security. Don't tell me that the x-ray machine at the airport could not detect my scissors? We just care less. That's it. In place of me, it could have very well been someone else, with the wrong intentions. We however don't miss a chance to raise our voice and make a big deal when someone as insignificant as SRK is put through some extra security check.

Either ways, SRK made it to American soil and even made a few million bucks, showing his hairless face and dancing and what not, on Independence day. He even managed to say, "I don't feel like stepping on American soil anymore, but it is the love and affection of my fans that will make me come back." Aaaawwww. How thoughtful of him. At the end of the day, our system still has a lot of lapses, and we largely remain unsafe. I am not saying that the USA is a much safer country, but as far as external threat goes, YES, they are safer.

Things wont change over night and there probably is no one right solution. But a change will slowly begin when we learn to treat everyone equally, and put everyone through the same procedure, irrespective of who they are in society. No extra privilege or special treatment for any celebrity or politician. If I am asked to wait in a queue, they will do the same. If I am going to be frisked, they will too. But, are these just Utopian wishes? Probably.

Over The Rainbow

So finally article 377 has been flushed down the drain and of course, has received mixed responses from people here and there. I was quite amused by some of the responses I heard from people I am close to, mostly from my friends circle. One person said that Indian has now become the Sodom and Gomorrah of the modern world. Of course, I look around and all I see are men riding each other. I dare not look again least I turn into a pillar of salt. Another friend of mine commented that all the gays should be put in a straight line and shot through their balls. Ouch. A pretty strong statement, coming from someone who has probably never even interacted with someone with a different sexual orientation. Then I heard someone say that they were terribly disturbed by the court ruling. Alright, here comes a few sleepless nights and days of depression. No matter what the reaction was, the fact was that the high court ruling had absolutely zero relevance to their lives. Ok, your not gay, so why does it matter to you that a gay person has the same rights as you have? Would it make your life better if you shot them through their balls, even though they have in no way troubled you or affected your lifestyle? I have usually enjoyed having a healthy debate on this topic with some close friends, but when 377 came down, no one made a comment. At least, not to me. I can barely count three or four people I know who welcomed the change. The misconception we all carry with us is that we believe that homosexuality is something one chooses to be. Yes, there are idiots who try it out for the sake of it or to be different, but in a much general sense, you can be gay due to various factors that are beyond your control. As of today, there is no concrete proof or theory that states that these are what makes a person gay. Research is still going on and there are various reasons that are beyond ones control that can make a person gay. If only people understood this, then they might understand another persons orientation better. Genetically a person can be gay. If one the wrong mix of hormones and genes in his body, he will have a different orientation. Now is that his fault or was that even his choice? Now even if your hormones and genes are alright, your early childhood environment and upbringing can shape your orientation. A little girl child who has a terribly abusive father will develop a distrust towards males and if she has been over protected by her mother, when she grows up she might never be able to receive love from a man. Even when she looks for a partner, she will only be able to trust and connect with a women. I don't mean to say that every abused girl turns out like this, but it is a possibility. It can work the same way with a boy too. It is also possible that if a boy has been over protected by his mother and has an absent father, he will pick up few feminine traits from his mother. With the over protection and too much attention, he will soon begin to act and behave like the people he has interacted with, in his case, his mother. These interactions will shape his character as he grows up. Was this his fault? Was this something he chose to be? With the amendment of 377, what we need to understand is that this is NOT about giving people the green signal to have sex with the same kind. This is hardly about sex. This is about giving them equal rights as you and me. This is about treating another human being the same way you would like to be treated. Previously if a homosexual had some disease that needed treatment, he could not approach a doctor due to the fear that his orientation would be reported and he could be arrested. His basic right to proper health was violated. No matter what your orientation, you should have the right to proper health care and education. You cannot be denied a job or thrown out of an institute because your orientation is different. This is what 377 is all about. So for all those of you who feel disturbed and want to shoot through the balls, you should know that this in no way affects you. If you discriminate someone for their orientation, then how different are you from some racist who discriminate based on color or caste? You do not have to love a persons way of life or his orientation, but the least you can do is to respect him as a human being and not deprive him of his basic rights that you very much enjoy.

Getting to Know Them

I have always been really bad when it comes to remembering names. Well, sometimes I do remember names and faces individually, but have a really hard time matching them. It takes me a while to be really confident. It's not really a big deal as on an average I may come across not more than two new names/faces a week. Imagine how I struggled when I had to learn up and match more than 150 names and faces in a matter of 3 weeks or so.

Getting into college was an exciting phase of my life. The freedom that comes with leaving home and the thought of making a whole new set of friends, were too tempting to resist. Right from the day I entered my hall (hostel), I was eager to start a new life. I had no idea about ragging and did not know to what extend it existed, but I didn't care. I was in MCC, and was going to make the best of it.

I remember walking into the hall with my luggage and coming face to face with a bunch of guys. Since I had to pass them, I said, "Hi, I'm Divyan. What's your name?" I got no response, but instead got a few ugly stares. Hhmm ok, not the really friendly types i guess. I continue you walk down the hall and I hear someone from behind, "Hey you. What's your name?" Ah, finally the friendly types. I happily respond, "I'm Divyan. Whats your name?" No response. He just walks off without even a stare. What's wrong with these people? A few minutes later as I am just about to enter my room, I pass by another happy looking guy who asks me for me name. I reply, "I'm Divyan, and what's your name?" He just smiles broadly and said, "You will find out soon enough." Oh ok, I get it. We are going to have some ice breaker game later on where we officially get to meet everyone.

I was wrong. There was no game and no friendly gesture from anyone. I soon realize that I am supposed to find out the names, room numbers and departments of more than 150 seniors. The worst part is that everyone refuses to tell us their names. How the heck am I supposed to find out? If out of desperation I approach someone and said, "Sir, can I have the pleasure of knowing your name?" the response I always got was, "WHAT? You don't know my name? How dare you! Go jump into the pond. Go duck yourself you worthless piece of shit." Let me not even get into how random guys just show up and ask, "Whats my room number? Which department do I belong to?" Uh? Excuse me. How would I know? "You don't know? Do duck in the pond" was their response. Honestly I lost track of how many times I jumped into the pond.

All said and done, in less than a month, most of us juniors knew every single person in the Hall by name, room number and even department. Suddenly it all began to make sense. We were not strangers or just individuals who came and left. We were one big family where everyone knew each other really well. That is why we do not call our place of residence as a hostel. It is much much more than that.

As the year ended, I waited eagerly for the new batch of students to walk in, so I could torture them with the task of finding out my name, room number and department, while keeping it a secret all the while. I had my fun and one of my unfortunate victim was none other than Mojo Jojo. He still refuses to let go of that incident and still harps on the fact that I was responsible for him jumping into the piss pond for the first time. Either way, he knew me well and we got close and now are good friends. So, if you ask me if id still try and memorize a hundred plus names and numbers, I wouldn't hesitate for long.