One Of Those Unexplainable Things In LifeThe recent post by Everyman made me think a little deep. I have probably spent half my life thinking about relationships, couples, love, blah blah and what not, but I think I might have missed the point completely somewhere along the way. LOVE, is one of those words which you find really hard to explain. Try as much as you may and each time you could come up with a different answer. That's fine because I don't think there is one right answer.
I'm sure that most of us have had preconceived ideas about what love is, or what love should be. We all probably grew up with our own fantasies of what kind of partner we want and the things we want to do with them. Ask a random man what kind of wife he wants and he might say that he wants someone who has an interest in sports, loves to watch movies, listens to music, cooks well, blah blah. These are just the basic requirements we carry. Its ok to expect but its funny how most of us could end up with someone with whom we have nothing in common. Yet, we love them to death. Strange, isn't it? I admit that I have occasionally browsed through various match making sites and dating websites. No, i wasn't looking for someone, but I have always been fascinated by the requirements of both men and women. Some of these sites match up people with similar interests and similar backgrounds. In this case you could end up with a couple who both love football, love Star Wars, love reading fiction, eating pizza and so on. I bet they could get off to a great start doing all the things they love doing together. But what happens a few months or years down the line? What happens when they have exhausted doing all that they love? Would they be lost somewhere along the way because all the while they were comfortable doing certain things that were well defined? Neither one has ever introduced the other to something new and they have probably not even considered something new. If you are doing everything you love with your partner, then what role does friends have in your life? What do you do with them?
I also tried to evaluate my own relationship. My partner and I always knew that we were both really different but still, somewhere I believed that we might have something in common. I don't think I was able to actually come up with anything concrete. We are just poles apart. Apart from the fact that we both like Biryani, there was hardly anything else. She likes hip-hop and I like rock and metal. I like cricket and she prefers soccer. She likes reading and I don't. I love blogging and as for her its not her cup of tea. Her idea of fun is probably going out and having a blast while I prefer to sit with a friend or two and chat into the night. Her idea of going out is going shopping and my idea of going out does not exceed a movie or dinner. When she gets angry she explodes, and I shut down. She takes time to cool down after an argument, while the cooling down time for me does not go beyond 5 minutes. She can fall asleep as soon as she hits the bed while I take a long long time. She is active as soon as her eyes are open in the morning, while I need a long time in bed before I can be fully awake. She likes to dress properly even if it is stepping out to the store. I, on the other hand would go to work in a shorts and t-shirt given the choice. We come from different corners of the country. We have different cultures and traditions and even different language. Still, we love each other to death. Probably defies all logic. The list could go on, and I rather not list everything out here, least I incur someones wrath. LOL.
Everyman has hit the nail on the head and he sure knows what he wants. Cheers to that. So what if we are so different? Your partner is supposed to be everything you are not, and that way you both can complete each other. It sure is thrilling when two people are different. The exploring can get real interesting. Sure, you will come across things you don't like, but so will your partner. Get to know something new each day and wake up and begin the day with the feeling of falling in love, every single day. Wake up each day with the feeling that you are glad to be with the person you are with. All that matters is if you like being with that person or not, irrespective of what you both have in common. You will be surprised at how two opposites can be the perfect match. Ask me.
I'm sure that most of us have had preconceived ideas about what love is, or what love should be. We all probably grew up with our own fantasies of what kind of partner we want and the things we want to do with them. Ask a random man what kind of wife he wants and he might say that he wants someone who has an interest in sports, loves to watch movies, listens to music, cooks well, blah blah. These are just the basic requirements we carry. Its ok to expect but its funny how most of us could end up with someone with whom we have nothing in common. Yet, we love them to death. Strange, isn't it? I admit that I have occasionally browsed through various match making sites and dating websites. No, i wasn't looking for someone, but I have always been fascinated by the requirements of both men and women. Some of these sites match up people with similar interests and similar backgrounds. In this case you could end up with a couple who both love football, love Star Wars, love reading fiction, eating pizza and so on. I bet they could get off to a great start doing all the things they love doing together. But what happens a few months or years down the line? What happens when they have exhausted doing all that they love? Would they be lost somewhere along the way because all the while they were comfortable doing certain things that were well defined? Neither one has ever introduced the other to something new and they have probably not even considered something new. If you are doing everything you love with your partner, then what role does friends have in your life? What do you do with them?
I also tried to evaluate my own relationship. My partner and I always knew that we were both really different but still, somewhere I believed that we might have something in common. I don't think I was able to actually come up with anything concrete. We are just poles apart. Apart from the fact that we both like Biryani, there was hardly anything else. She likes hip-hop and I like rock and metal. I like cricket and she prefers soccer. She likes reading and I don't. I love blogging and as for her its not her cup of tea. Her idea of fun is probably going out and having a blast while I prefer to sit with a friend or two and chat into the night. Her idea of going out is going shopping and my idea of going out does not exceed a movie or dinner. When she gets angry she explodes, and I shut down. She takes time to cool down after an argument, while the cooling down time for me does not go beyond 5 minutes. She can fall asleep as soon as she hits the bed while I take a long long time. She is active as soon as her eyes are open in the morning, while I need a long time in bed before I can be fully awake. She likes to dress properly even if it is stepping out to the store. I, on the other hand would go to work in a shorts and t-shirt given the choice. We come from different corners of the country. We have different cultures and traditions and even different language. Still, we love each other to death. Probably defies all logic. The list could go on, and I rather not list everything out here, least I incur someones wrath. LOL.
Everyman has hit the nail on the head and he sure knows what he wants. Cheers to that. So what if we are so different? Your partner is supposed to be everything you are not, and that way you both can complete each other. It sure is thrilling when two people are different. The exploring can get real interesting. Sure, you will come across things you don't like, but so will your partner. Get to know something new each day and wake up and begin the day with the feeling of falling in love, every single day. Wake up each day with the feeling that you are glad to be with the person you are with. All that matters is if you like being with that person or not, irrespective of what you both have in common. You will be surprised at how two opposites can be the perfect match. Ask me.
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