Spam Fun

Yes, I know that for a while now I have not had anything interesting to post, and hence the Pizza post, so I could buy some time. Anyway, for a while now I have been using gmail and have kind of dumped hotmail, mainly because of the spam that keeps flowing in. Some common ones I have been getting are the kind that says, "you have won a lottery, so send $100 so we can send you your money" or maybe something like, "my uncle died and has left behind a huge fortune that I want to share with you." I sometimes wonder if people can really be that foolish and fall for it. I assume that there are people who do. So, feeling jobless one day, I decided to respond to one such nut, just for fun.

Dear Friend,
We are pleased to inform you that your name has been shortlisted to receive an amount of 800,000 USD. Your name has been chosen randomly from among thousands of others. We have the bank draft ready to be dispatched. Kindly do send us your address and contact number so that we can contact you. Also please send 200USD as security and processing fee, so that we can send you your courier at the earliest.

Sincerely

Sir Phillip Cruz

Dispatch Director

Hi,

I want to receive courier. Please tell where to send $200

Thanks

Mac

Greetings Mac,

Please update me today on the transfer process from your end via western union money transfer, so that we could embark on dispatch immediately.

Do send along your phone number

Sincerely,

Sir Phillip cruz

Whose name should it be sent? Please give full details. Will send in two days.
Thanks

Mac

Good day Customer Mac,

Payment of 200 USD should be make via western union money transfer only for security purposes. Payment details are listed below.

Name:Paul Olaye
Address: Wuse 2 Layout, Abuja Nigeria.

Text Question: Relationship

Text Answer: Friend

You have to send down the MTCN and your complete postal address. Reconfirm your full name, address, country and most importantly your phone number. We wait to hear from you in the two days proposed.

Sir,

i want to know if it is possible to deduct $200 from my amount and send me the rest. Will save me the trouble of sending money. You can take $ 500 if you want. I am willing. Thank you very much for choosing me to receive it. I am happy.
Mac

Good day Customer  Mac,
We will not be deducting any money from the draft as it is not in our power to.I urge you to proceed at once to send the security keeping fee of 200USD to our office via WESTERN UNION at once with details we have provided for unless there will be no dispatch.
Get back to me on this so that we can take further steps.
Sincerely,
Sir Phillip Cruz

Sir phililp,
thank you for being so patient with me. I am really sorry that I have not been able to send the money yet. I hope you will be kind enough to understand what i have been going through in the last few weeks. I was really happy when i got your mail that you had chosen me to receive that large amount. I thought my prayers were being answered. I am going to undergo a serious surgery next month and i do not have the money to pay for it. I thought i would be able to go ahead with the surgery once i got the money from you, and I am counting on that. Please understand that you will be saving a life by sending that money urgently. I promise you that as soon as i get it, i will mail you double the amount you asked for. I will send $ 400 or more. I am living each day with hope, that i will get the money. If i don't, i will not be able to have my surgery and i may not live further than next year. I have a family and I have children. Please make me live and please for the sake of my family, send me the money.
Thank you very much
Mac

No response for a few weeks after this.

Good day Mr Mac
We still have your bank draft of 800,000USD ready for dispatch in our office.Please advise on what we do with this as it still stands that once you pay the 200USD security keeping fee,we will dispatch it to your residence.
Get back to me on this.
Sincerely,
Sir Phillip Cruz,
DISPATCH DIRECTOR

You DumbAss,

You think i am %$$#$@#$$@$...blah blah blah...

Too vulgar to put on the blog