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We were inseperable. We ate together, played together, got in trouble together. In short, there were no memories in my life that did not include Varun. We were born just few hours apart on the same day, just a few meters from eachother. My mother used to joke that when i came out of her womb, the first thing i did was ask for Varun, even before i took my first breath. It was difficult for someone to guess which house we belonged to. We were both lucky in a way that we had two mothers. They both nursed us like their own kids. It really was hard to tell even for us.

We both were probably the only two kids who did not cry on their first day at school. We had eachother didnt we? I remember once we had both flunked for science and how we hid the results from our parents for a very long time until it was too long and we both got spanked so hard for our actions. I also remember the time when i scored real good grades in school while Varun did not do too well. He was just so proud of me and had forgotten that he had not done well. He went around telling everyone, "He came first in class..... he scored the highest". How can i forget the time i got into trouble in school with some boys and i was being beaten up. Varun came to my rescue. He did not run away and he never gave up even though we were just two against a group of six or seven. We did not win. We got beaten real bad and Varun took it all along with me, all the while trying his best to fight back. We never ever promised each other but we knew it for a fact that we would be there in times of trouble to protect and just stand up for each other. We both stood by this commitment though we never verbally made one.

School life was good and we both graduated with good grades. What more could we do to make our parents proud of us? Its was that time in life when we had to choose a career path. It wasnt much of a choice for both of us. We both knew exactly what we wanted. Right from our childhood when we used to play war games with our fake guns and bombs, we knew that if there was any place we would rather be, it would be in the army. "You're crazy Varun", said his father. "These boys are both crazy", my mother said. "Oh dont worry, they will get over it in a few days", said my father. Both of us were the only kids our parents had and that made it harder for them to accept that fact that we were going to join the army. It was just out of concern for their only child. "Maybe if i had a brother or sister.... they would have caused less of a fuss", i used to wonder.

We stuck with our plans and managed to get into the academy. Life was tough and i admit that there were times when we both had our lives squeezed out of us that we wanted to give up. But had we not worked so hard to get this far? Surely we were not going to give up now. Getting trained for the army is a whole new ball game. Far from the war games we used to play as kids. Here there was no sympathy. So helping hand. It was the survival of the fittest. Oh how i used to wish that sometimes Varun would come to my rescue. Im sure he wished the same too. He would never admit it, but i know it. We graduated finally. We thought that day would never come. We were now officers in the army. I was so proud of Varun and he was so proud of me. The excitement was short lived as we both soon got our first postings. I was posted on the borders with POK and Varun was sent to Assam to fight the rebels. What?? Did someone say Assam? But why? Why couldnt he come to Kashmir? Or why couldnt i go to Assam too? I couldnt imagine being away from him for such a long time. I didnt even know when we would meet again. Saying our goodbye's we parted, for the first time in our lives. He didnt shed a single tear. He acted strong, like he always did. All he gave me was that one look and i knew at that moment that no matter what happened, he would always be there for me and that we would meet again.

Life in Kashmir was ok. A few militants trying to sneak in often. A few bombs going off in the city. This was a regular day in Kashmir and i had gotten used to it. Then it happened, what i had feared the most. A large group of militants had crossed in to our border and taken control of some strategic points. The government had declared war. This was the real army life. We were on our feet and was without sleep for many days, keeping the enemy as far back as possible. The terrain was difficult and it was our duty to capture a key highway and win it back, to make it possible for the transport of arms and resources to the rest of the army closer to the border. We edged closer and closer but we just could not break through. The enemy fire was to heavy and they were well hidden in the hills and there was no way we could locate them. We were moving ahead at a snails pace and time was runng out and so were our resources. We had already lost most of our men and there were just a handful of us left. There was no way we were going to make it.

We receive news that the army was pulling its troops from other locations far away and putting them in Kashmir. I heard that troops from Assam were also called. Against all odds i was hoping that Varun would be called too. It would make a difference to me and we could work better as a team. More men joined us and we continued our fight. Still there was no sight of Varun. We had captured almost all of the highway and there was just one post remaining. We rushed forward only to be met with a rain of bullets from the enemy. They were still hiding. We had to capture the post today. Without control of the post we would not be able to provide supplies to the other side. There were many casualities and the number was rising. It was up to me to make the dash. We took our positions and were ready for it, but just before i gave the signal, i saw something.

I froze for a moment. I did not know if it was out of shock or relief. A few meters behind me was Varun, with a group of soldiers from his group. They had been sent to provide cover for us. I did not have time for emotions. Our eyes met and i got the very same look from him that he had give me when we had parted. Varun had kept his word. The opened the covering fire and we made a dash for the post. It was all over in a few minutes. All militants at that post were killed and we had declared the highway open again. The other soldiers however did not stay back. They carried on to provide relief to more soldiers who had been fighting withiut resources or days. As he marched ahead, Varun gave me that look again and then he marched out of sight.

In a few weeks the war had ended. Pakistan had lost again. There were cheers and celebrations all over the nation. There was just one thing on my mind. I wanted to go home. My leave had been sanctioned before the war, but i had to stay back. I could go now. I deserved this rest and was looking forward to it. The train chugged slowly along the length of the country. Finally i was at my home town. Took a bus from the station and reached my village. I walked more brisky as i got closer. It was dusk by the time i was able to see my house at a distance. Nothing much had changed in this town. It had only been a little more then a year anyway since we had been away. Before i stepped inside, i had to go to Varuns house. I had no idea about his plans. I did not know if he was on leave or not, or if he was still in Assam.

As i reached the porch of his house, i saw his father sitting on his chair, staring outside? I was over joyed to see him. His face showed no change in emotions. Slowly he got up on seeing me and hugged me. There was a real weird feeling at that time. I felt uneasy. I had never felt this way before. I just could not figure out what it was all about. I gazed around out of confusion and my eyes fell on a large photograph hanging on the wall. Captain Varun: 1979-2001. It took me a while to gather my breath. I could not believe it. He was there to protect me and there was nothing i could have done? How selfish of me. I was overcome with guilt. I could not speak. His mother was now consoling me. She said, "I know its real hard and it has been hard for us too. Its been a year and we still have not got over it. He was our only son". Nothing was going to comfort me for this shock i had received. But wait...... did she say one year? Its hardly been a month since me and Varun fought the enemy together. How....?... what....?? Whats going on....? I felt darkness cover me. I felt i was loosing my vision. Slowly my eyes were shutting down and i was feeling dizzy. Thats the last thing i remember that day. When i opened my eyes, i was at home, on my bed and my parents were next to me.

Captain Varun had died the very first month he was stationed in Assam while bravely fighting the militants. He was gone long before the war broke out. He was not on this earth when i needed him the most, but he kept his word and was right next to me, just as he had promised. If it wasnt for him, i wouldnt be alive today.