The year 2007 has been terrible. A lot of my friends got married and so did a few of my relatives. Another few weddings coming up before this year gets over. It has been terrible for me not because they got married, but just because I missed each and ever one of them, and am going to miss the rest of them. I only have myself to blame for being so far off. Anyway, that's not the point.
I have been thinking a lot about how our generation has moved ahead and all the progress we have made in a lot of areas, both good and bad. Imagine how most of the weddings would have been about a generation ago. Parents fix the match, they do most of the planning and organizing, with help from the family of course. Everything was so bound tightly by each ones respective traditions and customs that it was considered the norm to have things a certain way. A different way was not even an option. I wonder if people even considered it back then. Maybe they did.
Things are a lot different these days. All the customs and traditions do still exist, but to a certain degree, i believe that we are trying to break away. It's not exactly because we don't respect them. It's because we have a different perspective of things now. Maybe I should not generalize and speak for everyone. What if I am wrong? So speaking strictly from my point of view, I feel like I want to do things differently. I don't my wedding to be an affair where I invite a thousand people, nine hundred of them who I have no clue as to who they are. Aahhhh, but you know how it is. If you invite A, you have to invite B. Now since B is invited, C and D also have to be invited. Most of us know how people like C and D can get offended for not being invited, even if they are your fourth cousin's mother-in-law's siblings. Now would I dare offend them?
I would not say that I don't want a church wedding. I do want it to happen in church, but I guess I feel resistant because there are just too many rituals involved. Most of them don't make any sense to me and I think we could do just fine without that. So cut out the dramatics, and I think I can have a nice solemn wedding. So will this become a reality? No, don't think so. Because my family is so plastered to the church, that to have a wedding that does not include the traditional chants and spells would be considered blasphemy. I really do understand the position that the family is in. They have so much that they believe in and so many dreams and expectations that they have for how their child should be married. I am not denying that. We have dreams too, don't we? In the end it boils down to who is going to give in.
That bring me to the question. Hey, whose wedding is it anyway? Isn't it supposed to be my wedding? So don't I have the right to chose the kind of wedding I want and have it my way? Why don't most parents really understand that? Most of us have dreamed about a nice sunset wedding by the beach, haven't we? Heck, I have, and why cant I have one? After all, you only get married once, or at least its supposed to be that way. It is not really fair that you don't get to do it your way if its a once in a life time thing. I do dream big, but I also remember to keep my feet tightly on the ground. I don't expect to have a sunset wedding on the beach with champagne flowing. What I would love to have is a quiet gathering at home, with just close friends and immediate family. Yeah, now is that asking for too much?
Anyway, my own wedding is still a while away. God only knows how that day is going to turn out. Who knows what battles I am going to win and which ones my folks are going to win. One thing is for sure, I am not going to have a thousand people. Maybe two hundred and to the other eight hundred who feel left out, I'm sorry. Hate me all you want, but this is my special day, now don't ruin it.
ps: Cheers to all my buddies and cousins who got married these last few months, and to those for whom the bells will toll in the next few months. Wish I was there.
I have been thinking a lot about how our generation has moved ahead and all the progress we have made in a lot of areas, both good and bad. Imagine how most of the weddings would have been about a generation ago. Parents fix the match, they do most of the planning and organizing, with help from the family of course. Everything was so bound tightly by each ones respective traditions and customs that it was considered the norm to have things a certain way. A different way was not even an option. I wonder if people even considered it back then. Maybe they did.
Things are a lot different these days. All the customs and traditions do still exist, but to a certain degree, i believe that we are trying to break away. It's not exactly because we don't respect them. It's because we have a different perspective of things now. Maybe I should not generalize and speak for everyone. What if I am wrong? So speaking strictly from my point of view, I feel like I want to do things differently. I don't my wedding to be an affair where I invite a thousand people, nine hundred of them who I have no clue as to who they are. Aahhhh, but you know how it is. If you invite A, you have to invite B. Now since B is invited, C and D also have to be invited. Most of us know how people like C and D can get offended for not being invited, even if they are your fourth cousin's mother-in-law's siblings. Now would I dare offend them?
I would not say that I don't want a church wedding. I do want it to happen in church, but I guess I feel resistant because there are just too many rituals involved. Most of them don't make any sense to me and I think we could do just fine without that. So cut out the dramatics, and I think I can have a nice solemn wedding. So will this become a reality? No, don't think so. Because my family is so plastered to the church, that to have a wedding that does not include the traditional chants and spells would be considered blasphemy. I really do understand the position that the family is in. They have so much that they believe in and so many dreams and expectations that they have for how their child should be married. I am not denying that. We have dreams too, don't we? In the end it boils down to who is going to give in.
That bring me to the question. Hey, whose wedding is it anyway? Isn't it supposed to be my wedding? So don't I have the right to chose the kind of wedding I want and have it my way? Why don't most parents really understand that? Most of us have dreamed about a nice sunset wedding by the beach, haven't we? Heck, I have, and why cant I have one? After all, you only get married once, or at least its supposed to be that way. It is not really fair that you don't get to do it your way if its a once in a life time thing. I do dream big, but I also remember to keep my feet tightly on the ground. I don't expect to have a sunset wedding on the beach with champagne flowing. What I would love to have is a quiet gathering at home, with just close friends and immediate family. Yeah, now is that asking for too much?
Anyway, my own wedding is still a while away. God only knows how that day is going to turn out. Who knows what battles I am going to win and which ones my folks are going to win. One thing is for sure, I am not going to have a thousand people. Maybe two hundred and to the other eight hundred who feel left out, I'm sorry. Hate me all you want, but this is my special day, now don't ruin it.
ps: Cheers to all my buddies and cousins who got married these last few months, and to those for whom the bells will toll in the next few months. Wish I was there.
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