Dear Dad,
Twenty seven years is really a long time, isn't it? Here I am, an adult, already a part of this world, and I have survived so long. You did a great job in bringing me up, no doubts. You might think that I am the perfect human being. Now see, that's where you go wrong. I have really lost track of the times I have cheated you and conned you. It was not because I hated you. I guess it was just my way of surviving and accepting the fact that the world has changed a lot since you were 27. Prices have gone up, people are different and there are a lot more things to do today than there were when you were my age. Anyway, here are some things I want to confess to you.
I think my earliest memory of fraud is from the time when I had started going to school. I needed money to buy sweets and I don't think that you would have found it necessary for me to get sweets from the shop in school. Well, anyway, I did steal some change from your pockets. Not everyday, but every now and then.
I guess you might remember the time you beat me because I opened up the VCR and tried to repair it. Well, that was the only time that you actually caught me in the act. I used to open it up often just to see what it was like inside. I guess I liked playing around with toys, and I don't think you saw the VCR as a toy as much as I did. On a similar note, We had rented a movie for the weekend and as we all sat and watched, it contained some really graphic nudity. Of course we turned if off and went to bed, but I watched it the next day after you left. I did not watch the whole movie, just the ones that you did not want me to see.
I remember that during the same time, I told you that the school had declared a holiday because someone had died in school. Well, the real reason was because my Hindi master was going to check all note books and my book was really incomplete. You believed me, but he had a really big cane, you know.
The time of the year when the grades come in, was always a hard time for me. I used to fail a lot. I had no choice but to show you some of my papers because it required signatures from you. I don't think I really showed you everything. I tried and forged your signature for some papers where I had failed really bad. I also remember the time in school when your office was right next to my class and the numerous times I had embarrassed you by being told to stand outside the class. You saw me each time you passed by. Well, come to think of it, you might have died with embarrassment had you seen me when ever I was out. I used to see you coming from far and Most of the time I successfully managed to slip away behind the wall and emerge only after you had passed. And how can i ever forget tuition. U arranged Hindi tuition for me because I was really weak, but I did not go all the time. I used to leave from home, but went elsewhere most of the time. But dad, in the end I passed, so chill.
College was really different. I was away from home and like a free bird. You always mentioned that you were sure that I would call you when it was time for the hostel bill. I sure did, and Most of the time the figures were bogus. I always added a few hundred rupees just so that I have some pocket money for the month. I did not think it would have made any difference if I told you the truth because kids these days have a lot of expenses, you know. By the way, we got our marks for each semester before the start of each new semester, and not at the end of my course, as I had told you. Well, maybe you knew this, and just let it go. Oh yeah I did fail a few papers, but I managed to clear it all before I graduated. If I remember correctly, I think I told you that I passed with a 1st class. Naaa.. it was just a lousy 2nd class, and that too just scrapped through. Did not want to disappoint you, that's why.
I think you knew that I played in a band right? Yaa I remember telling you, but I don't think I told you about all the places I travelled to for a gig. No, we did not play only in college. It must be difficult sitting far away and thinking about your son travelling and feeling uneasy unless I called. So, that's why I just did not bother to mention. I'm sure you felt better. Now don't even get me started on bike rides. I know you have prohibited me getting on a bike with someone. Its dangerous, I agree, but did you have any clue how much the autos cost then? I would have had to give you an even greater bogus bill, but I did not. Anyway, the point is, I took the risk and travelled a lot on bikes. I'm still alive. Maybe I don't understand your point and I may, when I have kids of my own.
The first time I came to India, I told you that I was going to Chennai to spend time with friends and my brother. Well, that's true, but I was not there all the time. Most of the time I was in a different place with my girlfriend. I knew I could not tell you that and expect you to nod in approval. This time was different however. I told you about my girlfriend and you knew that I was going to see her. You were fine with it, but what I did not tell you was that I was going to see her in Nagaland, and not south. Again you would be nervous and anxious with my travelling right? So, that's why. Finally, all those huge phone bills that you received at home, were my doing. I did not have a choice. No income and no money. I had to use the home phone, and I'm sorry the bill went sky high. Now can you please stop complaining to BSNL about faulty bills?
Well, that's a lot, isn't it? But I guess I am what I am today because of all these small things I have done, and I know you are proud of what I am today. So no complaints, right? It may have been wrong, but at that time it all seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe I would feel differently with my kids and maybe I may feel hurt if I knew my kids were conning me. But I think its a small price to pay.
Anyway, I am making a sincere effort to be honest with you from now onwards. But no promises ok, I know you will still be proud of me.
Love always
Divyan
Twenty seven years is really a long time, isn't it? Here I am, an adult, already a part of this world, and I have survived so long. You did a great job in bringing me up, no doubts. You might think that I am the perfect human being. Now see, that's where you go wrong. I have really lost track of the times I have cheated you and conned you. It was not because I hated you. I guess it was just my way of surviving and accepting the fact that the world has changed a lot since you were 27. Prices have gone up, people are different and there are a lot more things to do today than there were when you were my age. Anyway, here are some things I want to confess to you.
I think my earliest memory of fraud is from the time when I had started going to school. I needed money to buy sweets and I don't think that you would have found it necessary for me to get sweets from the shop in school. Well, anyway, I did steal some change from your pockets. Not everyday, but every now and then.
I guess you might remember the time you beat me because I opened up the VCR and tried to repair it. Well, that was the only time that you actually caught me in the act. I used to open it up often just to see what it was like inside. I guess I liked playing around with toys, and I don't think you saw the VCR as a toy as much as I did. On a similar note, We had rented a movie for the weekend and as we all sat and watched, it contained some really graphic nudity. Of course we turned if off and went to bed, but I watched it the next day after you left. I did not watch the whole movie, just the ones that you did not want me to see.
I remember that during the same time, I told you that the school had declared a holiday because someone had died in school. Well, the real reason was because my Hindi master was going to check all note books and my book was really incomplete. You believed me, but he had a really big cane, you know.
The time of the year when the grades come in, was always a hard time for me. I used to fail a lot. I had no choice but to show you some of my papers because it required signatures from you. I don't think I really showed you everything. I tried and forged your signature for some papers where I had failed really bad. I also remember the time in school when your office was right next to my class and the numerous times I had embarrassed you by being told to stand outside the class. You saw me each time you passed by. Well, come to think of it, you might have died with embarrassment had you seen me when ever I was out. I used to see you coming from far and Most of the time I successfully managed to slip away behind the wall and emerge only after you had passed. And how can i ever forget tuition. U arranged Hindi tuition for me because I was really weak, but I did not go all the time. I used to leave from home, but went elsewhere most of the time. But dad, in the end I passed, so chill.
College was really different. I was away from home and like a free bird. You always mentioned that you were sure that I would call you when it was time for the hostel bill. I sure did, and Most of the time the figures were bogus. I always added a few hundred rupees just so that I have some pocket money for the month. I did not think it would have made any difference if I told you the truth because kids these days have a lot of expenses, you know. By the way, we got our marks for each semester before the start of each new semester, and not at the end of my course, as I had told you. Well, maybe you knew this, and just let it go. Oh yeah I did fail a few papers, but I managed to clear it all before I graduated. If I remember correctly, I think I told you that I passed with a 1st class. Naaa.. it was just a lousy 2nd class, and that too just scrapped through. Did not want to disappoint you, that's why.
I think you knew that I played in a band right? Yaa I remember telling you, but I don't think I told you about all the places I travelled to for a gig. No, we did not play only in college. It must be difficult sitting far away and thinking about your son travelling and feeling uneasy unless I called. So, that's why I just did not bother to mention. I'm sure you felt better. Now don't even get me started on bike rides. I know you have prohibited me getting on a bike with someone. Its dangerous, I agree, but did you have any clue how much the autos cost then? I would have had to give you an even greater bogus bill, but I did not. Anyway, the point is, I took the risk and travelled a lot on bikes. I'm still alive. Maybe I don't understand your point and I may, when I have kids of my own.
The first time I came to India, I told you that I was going to Chennai to spend time with friends and my brother. Well, that's true, but I was not there all the time. Most of the time I was in a different place with my girlfriend. I knew I could not tell you that and expect you to nod in approval. This time was different however. I told you about my girlfriend and you knew that I was going to see her. You were fine with it, but what I did not tell you was that I was going to see her in Nagaland, and not south. Again you would be nervous and anxious with my travelling right? So, that's why. Finally, all those huge phone bills that you received at home, were my doing. I did not have a choice. No income and no money. I had to use the home phone, and I'm sorry the bill went sky high. Now can you please stop complaining to BSNL about faulty bills?
Well, that's a lot, isn't it? But I guess I am what I am today because of all these small things I have done, and I know you are proud of what I am today. So no complaints, right? It may have been wrong, but at that time it all seemed like the right thing to do. Maybe I would feel differently with my kids and maybe I may feel hurt if I knew my kids were conning me. But I think its a small price to pay.
Anyway, I am making a sincere effort to be honest with you from now onwards. But no promises ok, I know you will still be proud of me.
Love always
Divyan
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